日曜の午後、家中すべての窓を放って [日常blog]
日曜の午後、家中すべての窓を放って換気をした。換気が好きなのである。しかし、たいへんに寒かった。
肌寒さと一緒に窓から入ってきたのは、新鮮な空気と、徐々に夕方の色に染まりつつある陽の光だった。金色がかった光と風とが入ってきてゆっくりと部屋を満たしていく。それがびっくりするほど美しいので、しばらくふさぎがちだった私もほだされて、「まだやれる」ような気になってしまった。ゆるやかに広がっていく光の中で、やりかけの掃除も中止してぼーっと、「まだやれる」と思っていた。
明日から会社。
私は会社に出るといつも下っ腹が痛くなるので、非常に困っている。どうも不安定だし、音が鳴るときもあるので、苦しいし恥ずかしいし申し訳ないしでどうしようもないのである。
いっそ、倒れてくれたらはっきりするのにと不謹慎にも考えてしまう。具合がいいような悪いような微妙な線を行ったり来たりする。気持ちの切り替えようがないと思う。
ところが、この人はちょっとしたことで「まだやれる」と言い出す。こういうところには、正直、自分でも驚いてしまう。時々、私だとは思えない時がある。
木谷梨子
2005-11-20 22:15:00 | Permalink | コメント(192) |
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